The last few weeks I've been left feeling drained and somewhat depressed.
And by somewhat, I mean I've had to force myself to do anything... getting out of bed is a major effort for me at the moment.
I'd like to blame it all on over exerting myself at uni and work (and I know that this is a major cause of my stressing atm), but I can't shake the feeling that something more sinister is going on with me.
I wish I had someone I could talk to about all of this, but I just don't feel comfortable spilling my guts to anyone right now.
Right now I'm all doom and gloom, but once I get through this little phase I'll be all sunshine and rainbows again.
I want to feel needed by someone, instead of feeling like I'm a burden to those around me.
I want to feel the warm embrace of my friends, instead of feeling exhausted and isolated from all the things I've committed myself to.
I want to feel something other than this anxiety and overwhelming sense of 'What have I done to myself?'.
Now to the therapeutic side of this... how do I turn these seemingly insurmountable problems into manageable solutions?
Lets see...
Uni:
3 overdue assignments each ammounting to 2,000 words. BIG problem. That's a massive ammount of work that needs to be done now. No hope of an extension.
Why is it a problem? Because I have some strange need to be a high achiever...
Solution: Stop caring about my marks so much, as nice as it is to see an A+ for a mark, an F because I didn't hand something in as a result is just stupid.
3 assignments can be done soon enough if I just spend a little time on them rather than thinking of them as one big chunk.
The longer I let them drag on, the worse it will be for me.
It's time to stop aiming for the best Nelo, that ship has sailed. Time to just do what you can with the options available, swallow your pride and just aim to pass.
Afterall... a pass is all I need to get my degree. That's what's important here, noone will know if I got an A or an E for a result.
Work:
The issue here is already quite clear...
The solution? Nelo needs to say No. Simple. I keep saying that Uni will always come first, time to shit or get off the pot me thinks.
Starting tomorrow, when I ring my manager at the Hospital. Sorry Pete, I can't work for you guys on Sunday. I need some time out. I realise I've said No the last few times you've asked, but I'm not saying Yes to something just to keep you happy when it will come at such great cost to me.
Home:
I'm not even gonna go into the multitude of problems surrounding this.
All I need do to solve it is continue looking for a place to live in Bendigo. Something will come up, but if I don't look I'll never find it.
Friends:
Issue? Not seeing them
Solution? Spend less time working, balance my free time between study and socialising. Better yet... combine the two and hang out with my uni mates some more!
Love:
Again, the issue here is clear.
The solution? How can I expect to find love when I can't even find time for myself?
Again, find a better balance between work, uni and socialising. When this happens, who knows who I might meet :)
And finally... the overarching solution?
Dearest Nelo,
STOP TRYING TO PLEASE EVERYONE! YOU TELL PEOPLE ALL THE TIME THAT YOU CAN'T PLEASE EVERYONE AT ALL TIMES! FFS, TAKE A LEAF FROM YOUR OWN BOOK!
I'm whats important, yes... it's nice to be able to help people out when they need it. But you've gotta stop doing things when you know its going to prove detrimental to yourself.
How often have you preached the importance of self-care to others? And yet, how often do you do it for yourself? You had such grand plans at the start of the year, but all of them have died in the arse because you don't give yourself the time to achieve them.
And finally, Nelo the one thing I want you to do this week is read over this post a few more times to help it all sink in.
Past Nelo has been far too nice, Future Nelo needs to become a little more careful about where he invests his time and effort...
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I do agree with the Sunday story of not working. If give a reason that you need the time to do assignments for uni, they should be reasonable. That would give you Saturday nights to socialise after work & Sunday afternoon for uni work. There you go all sorted :)
ReplyDeleteAs far as the home front is concerned. The grass is not always greener on the other side. I would personally stay at home until the studies is finished. But then I'm not there.
Since we are on about the Book.
OK now according to In My Book.
When you are with friends you're such a open book but,
When it comes to relationships you are such a closed book
Doncha think it is time to get in someone’s good books for a change.
And the way to do that is not to cook the books (I prefer crook, but in your case cook is more appropriate)
If that person finds out that according to the book you have not been truthful.
They more than likely will throw the book at you.
They will hold you to your actions and bring to book for what you have done.
And decide that it is best to close the book.
So if what you have said was with your hand on the Good Book, I don’t believe anything you have said.
OK that is enough of in the book I’m going to find a comic now. Pictures are so much easier to read :)
It might help Nelo move from past Nelo to future Nelo if he can analyze his impulses to please other people all the time. What was his motivation for doing it? What did he think would happen if he didn't please them all the time?
ReplyDeleteI say this because my pop psychology says that there was a reason (probably unconscious) you acted as you did — a motive* driving your behavior. And it goes on to say that as long that motive remains, you will still find yourself with the impulse to always be nice to others. You can struggle against it, and even succeed, but it will be easier for you and more comfortable if you identify it and put it in its place.
* I say "a motive," meaning one, because it leads to similar behavior in different types of situations.
Anyway, I hope you can get to the "future Nelo." If my pop psychology helps, that's great. If not, sorry to have bothered you with it.
Nelo sweetiepants, I'm not gonna leave a big long comment, you seem to have it pretty much worked out, so I'll just sum it up, do less work, do more uni work, make time to see some friends, have a shag (it's not love but.....) give me some advice (that will help you out with the helping other people malarkey without costing anything least of all time) bake me a cheesecake or an upside down marble cake, send me a postcard, take a photo for the blog of you in a new item of clothes outside some where. Oh and accept a big dopey hug! Thanks, nuff said.
ReplyDeleteAny randomness to report?
ReplyDeleteUpdate? If you don't feel like it, email me and let me know you're ok..... thanks
ReplyDelete