I am so over it... This weekend has been a harsh reminder of why I changed careers at the end of year 12! Being a chef sucks absolute fucking donkey balls...
I've been working every day since Thursday, pulling at least 12 hour shifts each day and not being able to sleep for another couple of hours later because you're still wired from the ammount of caffeine you consume at work the next day just to stay alert and having your mind still going a million miles a minute trying to concentrate on doing 5 things at once.
And all the while knowing that you're behind on your coursework, but if you work you'll be able to make the money you'll need for the next few months while you're doing unpaid work placement 5 days a week...
It's all just reminded me of how tiring and anti-social the hours are you keep as a Chef, plus my boss was late this morning and I had to ring him to wake him up (as result he arrived at work 3hrs later than he had planned on!)
But let me start from the start so I can fully explain just how fucked up today has been...
I left for work at 9:20am, I had to put on a load of washing today, shower, organise clean clothes (I couldn't find where Mum had left my Chef jacket after I put it in the washing machine and asked her to push start once everyone was awake!) -Luckily she was up when I left so I didn't have to wake her to ask.
Got to work, realised Paul (the head chef) wasn't there despite the fact that the night before he was planning on at 8am. So I had to ring him at 9:30 which woke him up... He got there at 10am.
It's also a completely new menu to me, so I barely know how to do anything on it.
Fast forward a bit, first customer order comes in at around 12:30 and we were literally dishing up in between making pasta on a heavily floured bench. Thank god we had Kylie there to make desserts, we had to turn around and make pretty much the whole menu from scratch today. With Paul coming in late we were so far behind on our prep too, without a third pair of hands there today that luckily specialised in making desserts and was able to replace all of our sweet stuff over the course of the day.
To make it worse, the guy who was working as Sous Chef there had walked out an hour before service on Thursday leaving it up to me to help out and I'd only seen the menu briefly the week before... The financial sweetener being that they mucked up your pay the week before so I'll already be 10hrs up on this weekend's pay sheet. So thats 15 hours @ $20/hr and 13 hrs at $30/hr plus the next couple of days which are being paid at $30/hr to me for all of the public holidays that are declared this weekend in Australia... That will equal a shitload of money for me on Wednesday!
Clearly I chose the $$ over the sense here, but how could I refuse...
So I've missed out on seeing my family at home this Easter :o(
I'm hoping they let me have (and this is where I literally fell asleep at the computer)
I found this draft today and thought I'd finish it off. The rest of that weekend was hellish to say the least in 4 days I managed to clock up over 65hrs of work. The pay was awesome, but I'm still left with that feeling of 'Was it really all worth it?'.
I still haven't caught up with my coursework, and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by it all at the moment.
Actually, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by everything right now. I just want some time out for me, but know I'm not gonna get any for the foreseeable future. FML.
But I chose this, I know how to get out of it, I just need to find the headspace to deal with it all. Maybe writing this will help.
I've been having the strangest dreams of late, of friends who I haven't seen because I've been so busy with work... of LX, who I haven't thought of since I managed to he-tox successfully after I fucked up what could have been an awesome friendship. I've even been dreaming of uni and work. And now I'm left wondering what the hell my subconscious is trying to tell me about it all.
Probably just that I feel guilty about not seeing my family and friends and that I've been working WAY to hard lately.
I really do just wanna cry for a little bit, or do something to let some of this pent up stress out. Maybe I'll go for a run or something tomorrow after uni.
It's funny how I can talk so freely on here, but not tell a soul in the real world about any of this.
Ah well, it does me good...
Nelo.
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65 hours in four days definitely leaves you needing some relaxation.
ReplyDeleteSome people seem to thrive on stress, but there's a limit to how much one can endure.
I hope things have quieted down a little.
The money is always a plus. The hours is a problem. The working hours is getting in the way of study time. Don't neglect the studies. Try & find a happy medium.
ReplyDeleteA good cry is always good to get rid of stress, but a good laugh will also do the trick. A good laugh is preferable. What is that saying? Laugh & the world laughs with you, cry & you cry alone.
Don't be so selfish, how can you have "me time" you must share. Seriously, one needs the time to sit & contemplate the navel :)
Stay well
Jason
Loved that comment Jase, in particular that bit about needing to share my 'me' time. It actually made me chuckle just a little.
ReplyDeleteDunno why, but its midnight (well 11:55pm) and I've just woken up and am about to plug in the laptop and start on an essay. Might as well make use of the time I'm awake for, and seeing as its the reason why I'm not sleeping. Might as well kill two birds with one stone.
And wait a second... that sounds like the logical me talking again... could I finally be making sense again!?
yay Nelo the beer's on you now. Gosh what a busy weekend, busy week and everyting. You'll need a rub down with a wet sponge and a pick me up soon.
ReplyDeletePlease take some time to rest, of you'll end up with a face as wrinkled as mine!!! Teehhee
I like those dreams, if only to reassure me that I'm not alone in the odd dreams stakes.
Funnily enough though Mr Shaw, my dreams aren't all that odd. OK, so maybe the one about LX was... but that was more because I dreamed about him calling me to talk about my blog. The rest though have just been the usual, having coffee with friends or dreams about the plethora (god I love that word) of things that haven't gone the way I wanted them too at uni.
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