So Jase 1.0 wants an update...
Truth is I feel like complete shit.
Work this weekend was horrible, I just couldn't seem to do anything right. And I find out that everyone has been bitching about me behind my back.
Made me feel totally worthless, even though its such a minor thing it really got to me.
To the point where I just wanted to yell and scream at the people who were doing the bitching and pretty much anyone else who crossed my path.
At the risk of sounding some what chauvinistic, if I was a chick I'd swear I was having my period!
Tomorrow is gonna suck even more, the Artist has finally twigged onto how distant I've been with him and is wanting to have 'the talk'. We touched on it in a couple of messages to each other tonight, but concluded that we should really sit down in person and talk it out. In short, this time tomorrow I'm gonna be single again... Which is probably a good thing, it'll give me one less thing to stress about. And honestly, that magic spark that everyone talks about just isn't there. So really I think its just time to let him down gently and hope for the best.
What else? I've started smoking again... I know... That's a BAD Nelo! (Yes, I'm laughing at my own stupidity right now).
It makes me feel like shit seeing as I was doing so well, but I'll deal with it again soon enough. Think I might just go see the Doc and get him to prescribe me some stupid little pill to fix it. Cause I do REALLY want to give up, I was loving it when I did. I had an appetite, I could taste food. I didn't reek of stale cigarette smoke. The list of good things goes on and on and on really.
I'm also going in to see my Boss tomorrow, hopefully my PMS will have calmed down a bit by then otherwise he's gonna be having a bad day, just like I was this weekend.
But seriously, when I have some stupid little chick fully berating me because I accidentally left an oven on (rather than just quietly telling me I did) I don't have many options left.
She did it in front of everyone in the kitchen and made me feel about 2 inches high and all I wanted to do was arc right up and tell her to go and forcibly insert her opinions so far up her anus that they would never see the light again. But of course I couldn't... That would be bullying and sexual harassment and would probably cause more problems than what its worth.
So talk to the Boss it is... I have a few other things I need to speak with him about anyways so its not all bad (hopefully).
On the upside, I think I'm gonna have a girly day on Thursday. Time to go have my hair cut and coloured by a rather pricy hair dresser and then finish the job by having my eyebrows waxed and generally just try to make myself feel better by making myself look sexy. That'll work... right?
I wish things were better, but they're not.
I wish someone would just wave a magic wand and have all this bullshit just go away, but these things just don't happen in reality...
Time to put on some sad music and have a good cry me thinks.
Nelo
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Oh my little Nelo poppet, what a mare it's been for you just lately. You know you can always email me updates or moans or just the equivalent of an internet shoulder to cry on! Cuz popping over in my tea break these days is a bit tricky!
ReplyDeleteMaybe it’s not PMS, I think it’s more to do with the full moon phase, which makes us males all sensitive and temperamental, something to do with the gravitational pull of moisture inside the brain, which causes a lunar effect and thus makes us all especially males and nursing mothers to act a little, well crazy. So worry not my dear Nelo, you’re quite normal and not PMSing, at least no more than the normal person!
I’m disappointed that you’ve picked up the cancer sticks again, it’s a backwards step which you already know and you really do deserve a big kick up the butt for starting again. But, if it helps any, I had three attempts to give up over the years, only one has been a success. (Oh and I’d been smoking since I was 13!) You can and will give up, when the time is right! You’d better!
Good luck with the boss and good luck with The Artist, letting him down gently, I know I want to spout on and on about how people should grab any chance of happiness with both hands and enjoy ever last second of it while it lasts, but if the sparks not there, then well it’s not there and he’s not going to be Mr. Right!
Big hugs my dear Nelo.
WE are sounding very down :( Go do the pamper one self thing to lift ones spirits :)
ReplyDeleteThings have a way of working out.
Hang in there.
Aw, Nelo, so sorry it's just not your time of the month. And of course, when it rains it pours and makes everything seem just that much worse.
ReplyDeleteI'll add a kick to the butt to Jason's for picking u the cigs, but my last roommate tried 3 or 4 times, finally the pills worked...you can do it!
Things will get better. Be gentle with the Artist, and with your boss.
Peace <3
Jay