Smitten with Confusion

I think I've reached that stage of things where I have become somewhat smitten with the Artist.
Mind you along with this comes a multitude of other feelings, the most confusing of which is fear.
It's been so long since I met someone who is genuinely interested in me, rather than me hoping/wishing/thinking they are only to find out later on that this wasn't the case.

For most people, Mondays strike terror in their hearts. It heralds a new week of work and means the weekend is another 5 days away. For me... Mondays are much more fun. For the last few weeks its been 'date night'. Where the Artist and I meet up for lunch, then head over to the park to spend some time just laying in the grass (usually with my head on his muscular chest) talking shit and laughing at ourselves and whatever else we find amusing at the time.

He introduced me to his older sister and her two kids yesterday, which admittedly took me right out of my comfort zone. But an awkward couple of minutes, led to a few hours of just hanging out in his room snuggling with him questioning me about the most random things. Everything from my favourite historical period to my favourite food.
He has this amazing way of making me feel completely comfortable with myself and although I still can't bring myself to share the story that inspired my original blog post on here, he knows enough that he's willing to take things as slow as I need to until I realise that he's not going to hurt me.

But anyways, back to that original statement. The fact that I'm scared...
I don't know why, its almost as though I'm back in the days where I'm still unsure about myself and my sexuality. Where I'm still not sure that what I'm doing is right (and by that I mean the whole guy liking guy thing).
I want to spend all night curled up in his arms, but every time I get to that point I somehow manage to find an excuse to push him away. I need to somehow break through the barriers I've put up to protect myself and let this wonderful specimen of a man into my inner being, but I just can't... and I don't know why or even how to explain that to him or even on here.

Maybe I just need more time and to stop trying to push past my own bullshit and just let things take their course.
But for now, I need to sleep... perhaps the answer to my problems will come in my dreams.