Lately I've been a little hung up over the whole mess that has exploded between me and my old housemate -The one who I've been friends with since early high school, the same one who in a drunken moment told me how special she thought I was and actually brought tears to my eyes with the touching words she bestowed upon me.
Which is why I couldn't understand how things went pear shaped so quickly.
But I guess money is the great divider, it doesn't care about long standing friendships, only that its there to fuel the greed within one's heart.
Though, when you consider H's reaction to the whole situation it makes me wonder if R and I were ever truly as close as she made us out to be.
H and I have exchanged numerous emails none of which contained so much as a hint of hostility, in fact considering the nature of them they were pretty god damned pleasant. -Makes me think of that old saying, 'You catch more flies with honey than vinegar'.
In the space of about 3 emails, the two of us have come to an agreement whereby she's gonna send me a copy of all the bills during the 3 months I was there so I can pay the difference and she'll give me back my $500 I paid in bond money (I've even been nice enough to let her pay me back in installments if she needs to).
Much kinder than the last words R and I shared, she made a demand that I pay her the money I owed them and that she would refund me the difference once the bills arrived.
-She also gave me the wonderful analogy of how if I didn't use my phone for a month I would hardly call the company and say 'I'm not paying this because I didn't use the service' (Apparently that's not how it works in the real world). Needless to say I resisted the urge to point out that the company wouldn't turn round and say, 'We're not completely sure how much you owe us right now, so we'll send you an estimate for you to pay and we'll give you a refund on anything extra we've charged you'.
My reply to her demands we're a little more aggressive than she was expecting though, I just so happened to be in Melbourne that day so I told her I was coming around at 6pm to get copies of the bills that had arrived and to collect my bond money then and there. -Apparently she no longer felt safe to be near me as she threatened to call the Police if I turned up.
Anyone who knows me should know that my bark is far worse than my bite (Reason #203 Why she clearly isn't a good friend).
Either way, we're no longer on speaking terms... Kinda sad really that she decided to end a friendship the way she did and all over $150.
Meh, good luck to her. If she cracks a tantrum like that every time something doesn't go her way she's gonna be one lonely old woman soon enough.
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It's too bad how easily disagreements can turn into friendship-ending arguments. And it's not always about money. Sorry it happened to you.
ReplyDeleteJust be willing to accept an apology if she ever offers one, no matter how indirect — or even to resume the friendship without comment after a decent interval, if she tries to. It seems to me that when someone tries to re-establish a friendship in a situation like this implicitly they are saying either, "I was wrong," or "I forgive you." No need to parse which it is, because either way it says, "I want our friendship to survive the argument," and if you want the friendship back, you need to go for it. Then again, maybe you'll have decided that you'd prefer not to be friends with her anyway.
After hearing her say the things she's said to me, I don't think there's any hope of ever salvaging the friendship.
ReplyDeleteAccording to her she doesn't feel safe around me and never wants to see my face again, not to mention the last words we shared.
I took the apologetic stance and apologised for the fact that she didn't feel she could trust me, she took the aggressive stance and pointed out that trust needs to be earned, that I'd never given her a reason for her to trust me.
I'm really none to phased about the whole experience, it's her that's lost a good friend. Me, well I've learned once more that sometimes those who we're closest to are more likely to knife you in the back the minute things don't go their way.
But most importantly, its showed me that my real friends are the ones who are there through thick and thin.
Its sad that it ended that way, but hey, total lack of respect on her part.
ReplyDeleteThat's it, she aint getting any money now!