I found this while cleaning my room, I lost it for years and always seem to put it in a safe place and find it at the most random of times.
It was written by the first person I ever came out to, a sweet man by the name of Rob.
He was the chauffeur at the Spa Resort I used to work at and sadly at the time I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts and issues that I never really gave it the time of day.
I also didn't ever really get the chance to tell him how I felt either as I left the Resort soon after and lost contact with him.
Anyways, here it is...
I saw the moon through my window tonight and wondered where you were.
My drunken love lost within my mind
As I remember a time not long behind
Where the fool I played so well
No tears lost from a mindful youth
His life to fresh and new
As moonbeams sit on my window sill
I recall your without glass, my face a vision of blur
Your eyes of chocolate brown and clear, so beautifully clear
With candles burning and bodies close, I recall the feeling of love
Just a twinge in the pit of my body
A forgotten place, a forgotten flame of tattered heart
Such grace and respect I wish to offer in my friendship to a man in new bloom
In madness I wish to ask forgiveness of any wrong I've done to you
A passionate man I cannot become when I am
Thank you for your brilliant sweet presence Nelo.
Although nothing ever happened between us other than the two of us having dinner, I often wonder what ever happened to him...
Though you'll never read this, Rob I'm sorry I wasn't able to give you the respect you deserved. You opened your heart to me and I did little more than laugh at your awkwardness.
Your friendship was precious to me, even now I remember the feeling of hugging you goodbye.
I guess I'll always wonder what if...
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It's some times amazes how much we can move others without ever trying or knowing, until after the fact.
ReplyDeleteHugs a plenty dear boy. Wonder what if by all means, but don't dwell there, for what if's never ruled the world, or as my granny would say, what if, what if, what if ya granny had had a beard she'd have been ya grandad! At least that's what I think she used to say! I may have got confused.