Killing Time :)

Things are going well :)
Finished my house application... I hope to god I never have to do one of those again! The only thing they didn't ask for was a blood and urine sample. It took me the better part of an hour just to fill in the bloody forms, then I had to dig out all my ID stuff to send off with it.

Right now though, I'm just killing time until I go to Bendigo.
Why? To see Mr J of course :)
It would seem Mr Shaw was right on this one, the boy has some kind of interest in me that goes beyond a simple friendship.
I've spent half the morning texting him, and did the rather subtle thing of pointing out that it was cold as all hell and pissing down with rain outside, following it up with a comment about how days like this make me wish I had a boyfriend or a teddy to snuggle up to.
Had to test the waters somehow right?
Anyways... his reply was to offer me his teddy bear, so of course I asked what he was intending to snuggle up with. Apparently he was hoping it was me :)

So that confirms that... I'm gonna take it at face value and not analyse the various meanings behind it. Cause that would be bad.

I've been covering all my bases, he knows I'm moving in a couple of weeks and it hasn't seemed to deter him (a nice plus) in fact, he pointed out that he had relatives that live fairly close by.

In one of my other entries I mentioned the age gap between the two of us, and considering the responses I got I thought I'd best explain my thoughts a little more.
I'm not normally one to worry too much about age, and for a 19 year old he's certainly mature far beyond his years. And quite intelligent too :)
It just spun me out a little to hear him talking about his final year of high school last year, especially when all I ever seem to hear these days is how much people are over studying at university.
But to be honest, I think I was just looking for reasons as to why I should nip this thing in the bud before it had any chance to blossom.

Why would I do that you ask?
Simple... I'm afraid of being hurt. I've had my heart broken so many times in the last few years its just not funny. Everyone I seemed to take an interest in just wanted to be friends by the end of it for one reason or another. Except in the case of Adam... he just wanted to free load for a few months until he found a better offer.

It wasn't until I picked up the Art of Happiness again last night and started reading about the importance of pain and suffering in ones life and looking at things from another angle that I realised that even though I thought I was doing myself a favour by protecting my seemingly fragile little heart, I was doing quite the opposite.

I figure I have two options... Ride this one out and see where it gets me, or cut it off now and die wondering what might have been.

If I take option one, whats the worst that could happen? I end up with another failed relationship and a broken heart again? Sure, thats gonna hurt. But at least I will have tried! Who knows... we may spend many years together and I might finally get that happy ending I've spent so many nights dreaming of.
And if my heart breaks, well it'll repair itself in time and learn to love again.

God, reading this sounds like I'm already madly in love with Mr J.
So not the case... I just like to weigh up my options before I go jumping into situations.
The way I see it, right now we're just friends who are both trying to figure out what we think about each other.

Anyways... time to run off and do the naked, wet and soapy thing (and by that I mean shower)
Noone wants to see a stinky Nelo!