And so ends my first week back at uni... Is it just me or does one day a week of classes seem WAY too little for one to be considered a full time student?
Today was pretty freaking awesome though, rocked up to class 10mins late (ok, not the best start).
But once I got over that I settled in quite nicely, there is such a diverse range of students in my class this year. There's an awesome deaf girl (With the help of her interpreter, I had a good chat with her), a few oldies and the usual bunch of young ones. Even a Buddhist Monk from the looks of it!
Should make for some interesting class discussions :)
Did feel a bit sorry for the chick who started flirting with me today though... (Made me feel a bit special all the same)
Anyways, class today was pretty standard... First day back usually means just going through the subject outline and getting to know one another.
Ironically, my 2REC (that's code for 2nd Year Reflective Communication) lecturer started babbling on about reflective journalling.
I find this amusing because as it turns out, that's exactly what my blog is, an introspective of myself... a place where I can pour out my inner most thoughts and reflect back on them when I'm ready to.
Then I realised something else, when I took the class last year (yeah, I'm repeating it cause I failed) I couldn't think of anything worse. Not because I couldn't do it or because I thought it was a waste of time...
Purely because I was too afraid to take a long hard look at the shit that was going on inside me. I'm not sure 'afraid' is quite the right word... 'ready' seems much more fitting.
I wasn't ready to because I was already doing my best to deal with everything else going on around me... My Mum and her relationship, my work and the ammount of crap they were piling on me (the heart palpitations and anxiety I was suffering towards the end of the year were a good indication of this), my housemate and my own personal relationship with someone I thought I was in love with.
But things have changed this year, I've only had one day of classes but everything seems so much better already! My classmates are awesome and a few of us have already banded together ahead of time to start work on our group presentation (I hate Role Plays, but its gotta be done!)
I've NEVER felt this good about uni before (this is my 5th year of being at one university or another), don't get me wrong though. I'm a rather gifted student, hell if I can pull off an A for an essay I researched and wrote the night before it was due imagine what I'm capable of if I really set my mind to something!
Something has changed within me... I'm determined to succeed and NOTHING barring acts of God (even then, I'm gonna fight on) is gonna stop me from achieving this.
I'm going to be the first of any of my relatives to ever complete a University degree. Not only that, I'll be the first to complete two of them concurrently. A Masters degree (Social Work) and a Bachelors (Human Services).
I'm not doing this for them though, its all for me.
But fuck it'll be nice to be at my graduation ceremony in my wanky robes and funky academic cap with all of them looking on! -Me... Nelo the centre of attention... the middle child who FINALLY got to do something first!
2010 will be MY year, no more half arsed excuses for handing assignments in late. No more failing classes.
No more accepting that I can't do something simply because someone else says so.
I'll fight for this tooth and nail if I have to! And I'm gonna do whatever it takes for me to come out on top.
Hmmmm... it would appear I've found my will to live again! I knew it was hanging around here somewhere, turns out it was in me the whole time... I just needed the chance to let it surface again.
All I need now is a job (of the no brainer variety), something to keep me busy on my 5 day weekend... Something to give me the income to move to Melbourne at the end of semester.
So here's to Reflective Journalling... to making the mountains back into molehills...
But most importantly, to bringing back my own self confidence!
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That's the spirit!
ReplyDeleteWhen you get your degrees will they do your baccalaureate first? That would allow you to make a quick change into master's robes for the second. Or even better, wear the master's under the bachelor's and after you've receive the former degree, fling off that gown to disclose the next.
I like the undertones of/references to 'defying gravity' :-)
ReplyDeletelol, I didn't even realise I'd done that... Unconsciously quoting musicals is never a good thing!
ReplyDeleteBut I do find it 'interesting' that out of all that, the one thing you comment on is that I've referred to a song.